I’m Constantly Scared<\/b><\/p>\n
Q:<\/b> Hi, I’m an 18-year-old girl. I usually don’t search for guidance because I think that the city I am living in is very judgmental toward pre-marital sex, so let me first begin with my experience.<\/span><\/p>\n I was sexually assaulted when I was 15, it was an ex-boyfriend who didn’t have a clear idea of what consent means. I was terribly scared of being pregnant, since then I’ve tried to regain confidence in men. Now I’m in a really great relationship, but I’m thinking of having sex with him, but I don’t know how to protect myself and also how to prepare myself mentally, because every activity that includes his sperm anywhere near me, makes me wanna cry. It’s so frustrating because I really, reaaaaally want to have sex with him, he makes me feel loved and safe and if I just could find some guidance on this issue I would be very happy. My questions are: You can only get pregnant if he ejaculates near and in my vagina conduct? Could it happen when we have our clothes on? What would be the best method to prevent it? Should I take pills or injections? Thanks for opening this space, I find it very helpful, I don’t feel afraid to talk about my worries here, so thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> First of all it is perfectly normal to have these feelings, especially following a traumatic sexual experience. So feeling safe, and asking your partner to be patient and compassionate and not pressure you to do things you are not ready to do is important. You are right about pregnancy. That can occur if your partner ejaculates into your vagina. If he ejaculates at the opening of your vagina, that could potentially cause a pregnancy (but that is rare). It cannot happen with your clothes on. Your best bet to prevent pregnancy is to go on the birth control pill, or to always use condoms. Please see your doctor to discuss all the different methods of birth control that are available to you.<\/span><\/p>\n Virgin Problems<\/b><\/p>\n Q:<\/b> Hello, I am an 18-year-old virgin and I am trying to get into the act of fingering but it is very nerve-wracking! I have tried before but it has never been successful. Any tips? Also, For the longest time, I’ve gotten off through clitoral stimulation thru showerheads & tub faucets. I can never do it by hand. It seems as if it takes too long to reach a clitoral orgasm by hand and that too is unsuccessful. Any tips on that too?<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> Fingering oneself may not be that easy (our hands are not that flexible and thus it\u2019s easier when a partner does it). However, it seems from what you are saying that you get most of your pleasure through clitoral stimulation anyway. This is true of the majority of most women in fact. Many women use showerheads or they buy vibrators for self-stimulation, as this gives far more sensation than with a hand. Use whatever works. There is no right way to masturbate. When you do start having intercourse, be aware that you may not orgasm through that form of stimulation. Make sure your partner engages in foreplay with you.<\/span><\/p>\n Virginity<\/b><\/p>\n Q:<\/b> I\u2019ve had a hard time losing my virginity because it\u2019s so painful. I can\u2019t wear tampons\u2014nothing fits up there, and it just hurts so much and it\u2019s quite scary. What can I do?<\/span><\/p>\n