Q:<\/b> Hi! Could you please discuss painful penetration for people having sex for the first time:<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> First intercourse generally causes discomfort\/pain. This is due to the intact hymen\u2014the membrane that covers the opening of the vagina. During first penetration it is stretched and may cause some pain and bleeding. After several penetrations, it should no longer be painful. If you experience pain regularly, you should see your gynecologist to evaluate.<\/span><\/p>\n Unsure virgin<\/b><\/p>\n Q:<\/b> I should start off by saying that I’m 23 years old. I have an average build more chunky but not fat.<\/span><\/p>\n I just recently started talking to this girl about a month ago and we see each other each day. She goes to college and is younger and more sexually experienced than I am. She gets a lot of attention from other guys. She doesn’t think she’s beautiful and I always reassure her she is. We have fooled around a few times. We’ve only done oral though. I’ve never orgasmed from it and I don’t think she has either, although she shakes and is very wet. Not only am I secretly self-conscious about being a virgin but also being “small.” I’m 4″-5″ in length but thick. During our last time, she found out I was a virgin and said I should think about if I really wanted to lose it to her but my response meant nothing and nothing else happened. We finally started “dating” 2 days ago. She said she doesn’t want me to talk to other girls (which I haven’t and wouldn’t) and I said the same to her. We don’t text much during the day because of her classes and my job and I feel very lost because she’s so hard to read. It’s not “Facebook official” or anything and she still calls me her “friend” to her roommates. I hope you can get back to me because I’m so very lost and don’t want to lose her because of my overthinking.<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> Let me address a few points you bring up. In regards to her orgasm, you say she \u201cshakes and is very wet\u201d, well that certainly is a sign that she is very aroused and most likely has climaxed. Second point\u2014it is normal to be self-conscious as a virgin especially when having sex with a more experienced person. It\u2019s ok. As for penis size, 4-5 inches falls within the average range, so you are not \u201csmall\u201d. It sounds like she wants an exclusive relationship with you since she doesn\u2019t want you to talk to other girls and her the same. The best approach to get what you want is a straightforward one. Tell her you want her to be the first, and that you are interested in a relationship with her as boyfriend\/girlfriend. Ask her what she wants out of this \u201cfriendship\u201d. The best way not to overthink is to get your answers directly from her rather than play a guessing game.<\/span><\/p>\n Virgin Problems<\/b><\/p>\n Q:<\/b> Hello, I am an 18-year-old virgin and I am trying to get into the act of fingering but it is very nerve-wracking! I have tried before but it has never been successful. Any tips? Also, For the longest time, I’ve gotten off through clitoral stimulation thru shower heads & tub faucets. I can never do it by hand. It seems as if it takes too long to reach a clitoral orgasm by hand and that too is unsuccessful. Any tips on that?<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> Many women get the most stimulation from clitoral action. Many women also like their stimulation intense, like what is provided with a shower head or a vibrator. Simply inserting a finger will not provide any such stimulation. Nothing wrong with you using a vibrator, even during sex with your partner. Just a little statistic for you: 75% of women DO NOT orgasm through penetration alone. They need clitoral stimulation. So this makes you perfectly normal!<\/span><\/p>\n How Do I Know I\u2019m a Virgin?<\/b><\/p>\n Q:<\/b> I’m not sure about whether I’m a virgin or not. Once I put my finger inside the vagina but it never bled, not that or even after. How can I know that before having sex with my partner?<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> Losing one\u2019s virginity, especially for a straight woman, refers to the first time that she has penile\/vaginal intercourse. The bleeding occurs when the penis pushes through the hymen (although a woman may not always bleed the first time as a hymen can be stretched through other activities like exercise or horseback riding). A finger is far smaller than a penis and thus will not stretch the hymen enough to cause bleeding.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Painful Penetration Q: Hi! Could you please discuss painful penetration for people having sex for the first time: Why is it painful? How to minimize pain? How long is pain expected to last (average)? When should pain become a concern? What does it mean if you bleed? A: First intercourse generally causes discomfort\/pain. 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