Rough Sex<\/b><\/p>\n
Q: <\/b>Hi Dr. Laurie. I\u2019m 30 and just recently broke up with a partner. I\u2019m single for the first time in 11 years and things have changed a lot since I met my ex. One thing I\u2019ve noticed that seems different to me\u2014maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m not an awkward teen anymore\u2014is that people seem to be into rough sex. I see it on TV and in movies and recently, a woman I\u2019ve been dating has confided that she likes things a little rough.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n To me, the whole concept of it all doesn\u2019t even make sense. If I love someone, why would I want to hurt them in any way? I\u2019m not religious or conservative in any way but this makes me feel like I have hang-ups. Is it really as common as people and the media make it seem? Is this something I\u2019m going to have to deal with indefinitely?<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> I think our exposure to media has drastically changed in the last decade, and with it influencing the way we view sexuality. What I have noticed is that kink has become more mainstream, with the likes of the <\/span>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/span><\/i> books becoming so popular, for example. Having said that, when people like it \u201crough,\u201d it doesn\u2019t necessarily imply they want to be hurt or enjoy violence. Roughness, such as being dominated, lightly choked, or being restrained during sex happens in a controlled environment where the passive person actually has control over how far their partner can go. Which is why communication during sex, consent, and the like are an absolute necessity. You are right that many people seem to enjoy some level of domination, and from a psychological perspective, this implies vulnerability, letting go of control, and trust. However, this is also not everyone\u2019s desire or fantasy. You never have to do what you don\u2019t feel comfortable with. This does not mean that you have \u201chang ups.\u201d If you find yourself with a partner that asks you for this kind of activity, try having a conversation about it. Ask them what it is about the roughness they like or connect with. With a little understanding, you may find yourself more willing to test the waters. Always remember that you should get enthusiastic consent every step of the way.<\/span><\/p>\n New Kink<\/b><\/p>\n Q: <\/b>I\u2019ve been dating this guy for a few months and our sex life was pretty straightforward until recently. During foreplay, he asked me if I thought any of his friends were hot. I said no, but he kept pressing, so I played along and blurted out a random name. Later, when we were going at it, he wanted me to say \u201cI want to fuck ____\u201d and was super into it. Again, I went along with it, but I have never really experienced anything like this before. Now I\u2019m worried he\u2019ll want to go more into the kink and do the same thing again, or expect me to do something with this guy? Is this something a lot of people are into? How do I get out of this now that I\u2019ve gone along with it once?<\/span><\/p>\n A:<\/b> This sounds like a \u201ccuckolding\u201d fantasy to me. This is when <\/span>a man gets aroused watching (in real life or fantasy) his partner having sex with another man. This is a fantasy and not necessarily something he wants to see happening in real life. Think of it as a form of dirty talk. If you are not comfortable with this, you should have an open conversation with your partner about his fantasy. Let him know your concerns. Remember, in a sexual relationship, you both need to enjoy the experience. If this ruins it for you, then you must share this with him.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Rough Sex Q: Hi Dr. Laurie. I\u2019m 30 and just recently broke up with a partner. I\u2019m single for the first time in 11 years and things have changed a lot since I met my ex. One thing I\u2019ve noticed that seems different to me\u2014maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m not an awkward teen anymore\u2014is that people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":10643,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[19,13],"tags":[511,497,1625,291,587,211,2351,205],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10639"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10639"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10693,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10639\/revisions\/10693"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pornhub.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}